Worry.
I admit it... I'm a worrier. I worry about finances. I worry about upkeep and improvements needed around the house. I worry that I'm forgetting things. I worry that I just can't get all the things I want to do accomplished. Most of all I worry about my family - their health, happiness and general well-being.
As my girls get older they are starting to pull away. Everything is a battle. They don't want to wear jackets even when there's ice on the ground and I worry that they'll get sick. They don't want to eat the foods that I know are healthier for them. They certainly don't want me looking over their shoulder, keeping track of all that they do. Tough luck for them.
I think that a certain amount of worrying can be a good thing. It makes you vigilant and aware... as long as you can find the right balance.
Now that she's a middle schooler, DQ has become more social. She has friends all over the place and the internet and her cell phone have allowed her to keep in touch with all of them. Of course I worry about this. Not just the bills (although she's really responsible and hasn't gone over her allotments yet) but who she's talking to and what she's telling them so I've got a few rules.
She has an email account but I know that passwords and she's not allowed to change them. She knows that I can and will check her email from time to time. I don't do it as often as she thinks I do but it makes me worry less to have things open like this.
She's got a cell phone and aside from staying within her plan I don't have a lot of rules for this beyond courtesy stuff. I do require that she make sure it's charged and on whenever she goes out so that I know I can reach her if I need to. I recently asked that call me whenver she gets home in the afternoon and she chafed at that a bit. She'll do it though because she knows I'll worry if she doesn't call.
Now there's F*cebook. Oy! I've avoided this for quite a while but I recently allowed her to open an account with one caveat... she must approve friend requests from any family member who asks. With the eyes of her aunt and uncle and myself on her I'll worry less.
I'm sure that there are more things I could do and I'm totally open to suggestions. What do you do to manage your worries?
Dec 17, 2008
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5 comments:
Not having kids of my own I can't really say. But it sounds like you're doing a good job so far. With Facebook open to everyone I think it makes it a bit safer. As you said, you and her aunts and uncles can look in on what she is doing. I was very surprised to discover the vast majority of my extended family is on there and it is great for keeping in touch!
It sounds to me like you're on the right track. I have a great tip for when the inevitable boy-girl party invitations appear via word of mouth. You ask the mom question "where, adults present no drinking?" you receive the stock answer "eye roll - yes! don't you trust me?!?"
And then (this is the good part) you call the parent and THANK them for hosting the party & ask if you could send chips or soda or something to help ;) Works EVERY Time!
Not to cause you more stress, but have you told her that she has to have you on Facebook at full levels? (According to a friend who was informed that she had to accept a friend request from her vice president, you can set certain levels for certain people (without them knowing), so that some people only get "clean" content)...
Sorry to add to your W...
Make a deal with your child; if she arrives at a party where she expects an adult and finds they leave, or there is a sibling 'in charge', or something isn't kosher, your child can call you to pick her up (and any friends who wish to leave with their parent's permission) and you'll drop them off at bowling or a movie. There should be a reward for doing the right thing.
Drink.
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